Find He-Man

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trashnofire1 Find He ManA few lifetimes ago when we were finishing reading HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HALLOWS, as we walked home from Madison Square Park, we spotted an odd sight for a Saturday afternoon: a rather muscular, shirtless man with a mullet, wearing a dog collar and camouflage pants walking slowly, yet deliberately out of a coffee shop. He had both the mein and the attire of a Chippendales dancer who had gone home the previous night with someone sporting a wad of greenbacks and a personal limo and then had quite an adventure involving midgets and crocodiles, and was now setting off for home at 4:30 in the afternoon.

We confess to finding the whole thing so odd that we trailed him all the way to 3rd Avenue, when our paths diverged and seemliness required that we mind our own business.

Well, now it turns out that this same fellow has been dubbed “He-Man” and was spotted in the Union Square area for several days — there is even a website devoted to tracking his whereabouts: Find He-Man. The blog has some photos of him in his native garb. It seems every night involved midgets and crocodiles for this chap.

This is all so bizarre that the only person who could possibly have stated this blog is He-Man himself. Indeed there is something odd and fishy about all of this. Is He-Man the new Lonelygirl15? Is it a promotion for MASTERS OF THE UNIVERSE? Or is life just THAT connected that every random street sihting must now become a web site? Does He-Man have a Twitter account?

[Spotted via Urbaniak, who quite rightly points out that He-Man looks even more like Brock Sampson than He-Man.]

Comments

  1. Joanne says:

    We have a guy just like this in San Diego. He has big muscles, hair down to his butt, no shirt, and sunglasses, and he just walks around downtown SD like that. In the middle of the day. At night. Whenever.

  2. Dave McKenna says:

    Saw that guy on my lunch break the other day. My first thought was “perfect Vice magazine ‘DON’T’ “…maybe a bit too perfect, since judging from the website it’s obviously some stupid viral marketing stunt. And here we are providing “buzz”; let’s stop now before a kitten dies.

  3. it’s THE FILTH’s Max Thunderstone!

  4. this is amazing. my friends and i have been tracking him since the BBQ festival and it’s good to know we’re not alone.

  5. We SHOULD be tracking the sexy redhead walking toward the subway. Is that Mary Jane Watson??

  6. I have to admit that I, too, zeroed in on the redhead pretty quick. Because I am a bad person.

  7. Toronto also has their own muscle-bound crazy, called “Zanta” and is often seen shirtless with a Santa hat on, flexing his muscles at people and doing push ups on the sidewalks of Toronto. The guy is even seen shirtless in the middle of winter, just flexing and shouting almost chanting “Yes! Yes! YES! YES! YES!” like Beavis & Butthead’s long lost cousin. He also has his own website, but it seems to be down now, so here’s a link to his Wikipedia page:
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zanta

  8. My god, it never even occurred to me that that guy who started that Find HeMan blog MIGHT be “HeMan” himself! Now I feel so dirty for having sent in my own sighting on Monday night (northbound on Broadway, right along City Hall Park). I’m such a tool.

    Street “freaks” are so disappointing when you find out that they’re just doing their “thing” for attention. I mean, i KNOW that they ALL do it just for attention (why else would they do it?), but are we so jaded as a society now that we actually have to point to ourselves and scream, “I’M A FREAK! LOOK AT ME!” to anyone who’ll listen, before anyone will listen?

  9. michael says:

    it’s amazing to me that so many find a person like ‘he-man’ amazing simply cause men tend to not dress like women in their cities. (i.e. really skimpy clothing)

    in the summer, girls are practically naked every day.

  10. I got a homeless “Man-Thing” living right around the corner from me right here in Sherman Oaks.

    I should snap his picture for you just for prosperity.

    Whenever people are walking by him, they scatter for in fear that his tentacle like dreadlocks will reach out to ensnare and choke you to death –

    hence the old motto:

    “Whomever knows fear burns at the Man-Thing’s touch…”

    ~

    Coat

  11. Metro says:

    He works out at Asser Levy GYM on 23rd and the river. He wears army pants or tight jeans with either combat boots or amateur wrestling shoes depending on the day. He is soft spoken and sometimes sports a thing mustache. Everyone stares at him in awe.

  12. I know him. He just found out about the site the other day but he has no clue who the people are.

Trackbacks

  1. SOG knives says:

    SOG knives…

    Interesting ideas… I wonder how the Hollywood media would portray this?…

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