Huge shake-up at DC Comics lunch counter

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201212051359 Huge shake up at DC Comics lunch counter

We’re hearing that DC Comics is in turmoil today after popular lunch spot McGee’s changed their bean salad recipe: instead of cannellini beans, the salad now contains navy beans, and the change has everyone upset.

Rattled staffers have been complaining bitterly. “Cannellini beans are mild in flavor and hold their shape well,” said one prominent editor. “Navy beans don’t have the nut-like flavor I prefer.”

The complaints were said to be especially harsh over at MAD, where one worker was heard to say “This is the worst lunch ever.” Another summed it up succinctly: “Bean Crisis.”

A series of meetings is being planned to cover lunch options and how to drive internet traffic with meaningless headlines.

Comments

  1. Carmichael says:

    I don’t know how they could solve a crisis like this in less than 52 weeks.

  2. How about the human beans? Huh? Answer me that!

  3. S. Earl says:

    BEATING COOL!

  4. And the Berger is no longer on the menu.

  5. I’ve heard that the original bean salad recipe is relocating to Burbank.

  6. And yet the story about the breakfast menu switching round sausage patties for link sausages goes unreported!

    Why are you helping cover up this conspiracy?

  7. Christian Hoffer says:

    Between this and the voice mail switch-up, I wonder how long it’ll be before the company goes under.

    End of an era at DC.

  8. blacaucasian says:

    I laughed out loud at this. BLOG WARS!

  9. I’m amazed that no one has yet spoken of the melodic tones that legumes can produce following digestion, especially when one consumes mass quantities that then increase the amount of said melodic tones.

  10. Jackie Estrada says:

    Has anyone alerted Larry Marder?

  11. This is the most exciting comics hubbub since the Alan Moore and Grant Morrison feud where Alan Moore made an off the cuff comment to a pointed interview question about the derivative and weak spices in Grant Morrison’s chili and Grant Morrison wrote a book to defend it. Morrison basically argued that his chili was damn tasty in spite of the fact that he had allegedly stolen many of Alan Moore’s spices, which he claimed he had only borrowed, except that he had never used them at all unless well paid to do so. Alan Moore proceeded to eat Minestrone Soup and be completely oblivious to there being any kerfluffle at all. Meanwhile, an outraged comics press expressed their fanboy rage and declared Moore a hater of all varieties of stew, and indeed, of life itself (this all beyond the obvious hygiene issues involved in eating stew while greatly bearded). In spite of their loud advocating for the taste of Morrison’s chili, however, the fans continued to eat large amounts of Minestrone soup in spite of themselves and hate themselves in the morning (only Progresso brand, though). Not as much as they hated Alan Moore for making them like it, though.

  12. Torsten Adair says:

    DC fans have already started an online petition to force McGee’s to bring back the old bean salad. Others have stated publicly that they will no longer dine at McGee’s or even watch “How I Met Your Mother” on television. Some tried to hack the restaurant’s Yelp and Zagat ratings online, but those were restored a few hours later.

    There is some online speculation that the U.S. Senate will modify their famous Bean Soup recipe in response. A flame war quickly broke out online, as proponents of the mashed potato recipe debated with those who prefer the current braised onion served on Capitol Hill, with a third group discussing how the soup could be improved. (I would like to see a chili, or even a radical jambalaya.) One news site has heard rumors that a lentil soup is being tested in the Library of Congress’ Madison cafeteria.

  13. George Bush (not that one) says:

    The changing of the beans to NAVY beans is a subtle brainwashing trick to get us ready for WORLD WAR 3 !!!! KILL ! KILL ! KILL !

  14. Bring it on, Outhousers!

  15. Gregg says:

    I find that The Onion writes the best pieces that seem like they belong in The Onion.

  16. Nice. Very nice.

  17. John Shableski says:

    I’m sure someone will lay this all on Bob Wayne….he’s known for his keen dislike of beans.

  18. So it IS possible for this site to climb even higher up inside its own ass.

  19. Xenos says:

    @ Christian Hoffer
    The company will not go under. AOLTimeWarner Food Inc has too much invested in those beans. Though they might not produce those beans in salad anymore. Chili sells better. They might just stop the salad line or the majority of the salad line and just focus on using those beans in chili. Though really, their recent chili ventures have been awful. Except for Chris Nolan’s pretty good chili that was exceptional and well accepted, and even that one was kinda an one time thing with no promise of related chilli, none of their other chili sold well. People got sick from that one Halle Berry made. And we don’t know if Zach Snyder’s will be any good. (He kept doing slow mo shots of adding spices. What the hell?!) And the major competition for bean chili owned by Disney is doing a fantastic job as much as I prefer this company’s beans.

    So.. I do not fear that the company will end. They already reformatted their beans sector. I just worry that they will discontinue to some major degree their salad line and just use all their beans for their chili.

  20. This is from GlassDoor.com:

    “The Worst Leadership”

    Former Editor in New York, NY– Reviewed Oct 17, 2012

    Pros – In my time with DC, I was pleased to be surrounded with peers that were hard-working and dedicated, willing to do anything they could to get the books out.

    Cons – Where do I start? With the well-documented sexual harassment, the inconsistent vision of the company, lack of advancement, the terrifying feeling of being fired at any minute. I do not recommend working here no matter how much you want to work in comics. You’d be happier at Marvel.

    Advice to Senior Management – Please all get fired.

  21. I thought the BC story was funny even though it was a useless item. Look all these “news” items posted here and any comic related blog with a purpose (femme fan slanted, regular review site, parody site, what have you) is just for entertainment and in some ways these pieces are just for fun and probably more entertaining than reading any actual comic book published in this day and age.

  22. This article counts too much on beans,… less about you “bean counters” -looks like they need to have some heads roll in the ‘Sr Mgmt department’… That means = new President or new head of publishing for DC,… again. Either that or get new cooks in the kitchen… oh yeah, doesnt matter: DC Sucks Any Way.

  23. Nice one! *golf clap*

  24. Torsten Adair says:

    True fans of chili know that beans are anathema… like putting ketchup on a hot dog.

    Interestingly enough, DC seems to have foretold this… there’s a chili story in the Ghosts comic from Vertigo. Hmm… MAD ESP?
    http://www.vertigocomics.com/comics/ghosts-1

  25. Brett Bina says:

    you guys are mean

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