A politician in New Dehli recently fell to his death after a savage attack by a band of roaming monkeys. He must have been in such pain that plunging to his demise was the only way to end the fierce, burning agony of the monkey attack! Although this sounds like the kind of solution to the government problems that many are experiencing worldwide, innocent civilians could also be caught unawares by the marauding monkeys. Luckly, Slate is there to explain What to do if you’re attacked by monkeys. The key is to do what the monkeys want you to do.
It’s like Mom said about muggers: Just give ‘em what they want. When monkeys get aggressive, it’s usually because they think you have something to eat. According to one study, about three-quarters of all the aggressive interactions between long-tailed macaques and tourists at Bali’s Padangtegal Monkey Forest involved food. If you are holding a snack, throw it in their direction, and they’ll stop bothering you. If you don’t have any food, hold out your open palms to show you’re not carrying a tasty treat or back away from the monkeys without showing fear. To diffuse the situation, don’t make eye contact or smile with your teeth showing—in the nonhuman primate world, these are almost always signs of aggression.
The article also suggests possibly shaking a stick or making an aggressive “O” face at the monkeys, although these run the risk of further angering the monkeys and making a blazing monkey attack more likely.
Simian gangs of rowdy macaques are common in Delhi, where the creatures are believed to be sacred to the god Hanumen. Attempts to curb the violence by bringing in more langurs, a more laid back and peace-loving monkey, have had little effect.