Primal Battle: Centaur vs Minotaur

UGO asks Neil Gaiman, Ozzy Osbourne, Clive Barker, Brian Posehn, Tiger Woods and many others what may be the burning question of our times: Who would in in a fight: a minotaur armed with a trident or a centaur armed with a crossbow?. We’re betting on the centaur because they have TWO eyes.

Comments

  1. Bob Musgrave says:

    Both of them have 2 eyes (Centaur with the head of a man and Minotaur with the head of a bull)…you’re thinking of a Cyclops. Mayhaps?

  2. Tommy Raiko says:

    Yeah, they both have two eyes, but still…wouldn’t you think that an anatomically correct Minotaur, being bull-headed (ha!), would have its eyes on the side of its head whereas the centaur would have the evolutionary advantage of forward-facing eyes and so would have better depth perception?

  3. Torsten Adair says:

    A centaur has a human mind AND a weapon which can be fired from a distance. If inside the Labyrinth, with close quarters, the match is even. Flaming arrows might help.

  4. Jeff Pedigo says:

    The fans would win.

  5. Sphinx Magoo says:

    Ozzy has the guts to say what was written all over Tiger Woods’ face!

  6. Sphinx Magoo says:

    …although Richard Kind’s answer makes the most Hollywood sense.

  7. michael says:

    Hmm..that’s hard to say *exposes geekiness*.

    Vs. a normal AD&D Minotaur, I’d give it to the Centaur (using anything other than a hand crossbow w/ normal bolts).

    Vs. a bloodsea Minotaur from Dragonlance (which is larger, and more intelligent) I’d give it to the Mino.

    :)

  8. Bartholomew Fair says:

    Why wouldn’t a minotaur have two eyes? Is he supposed to be a pirate minotaur or something?

  9. William Sims says:

    I would totally pay to see pirate minotaurs.

  10. Jaime says:

    There has to be a Dragonlance novel out there somewhere with pirate minotaurs…

  11. Harry Rose says:

    WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU ALL ON!
    CENTAUR TO WIN HANDS DOWN.
    MINOTAUR IS LIKE A WILD STUPID ANIMAL.
    CENTAUR HAS BOTH SPEED AND RANGE.
    IF YOU SAY OTHERWISE I WILL KILL YOUR FAMILY WITH BOLTS TO BE IRONIC.

  12. Mike Butler says:

    Well I’m Mike and i’m stupid and ignorant and therefore think that a Minotaur will win. DUHHHHH

  13. minotaur would win because any type of crossbow takes a while to reload. Even people who are skilled with crossbows can only shoot about 6 in a minute.

    Here’s what would happen: The minotaur would charge and the centaur would fire a bolt at his chest. Since the minotaur has such a high pain threshold he would only be slowed down for a few seconds. While the centaur is reloading the minotaur comes extremely close. The centaur then stops screwing around with his cross bow and attempts to kick the minotaur with his hoof. ONce again the minotaur takes the pain and drives his trident through the centaur.

    Although if the centaur gets his first shot in the head, then the centaur may win.

  14. Minotaur would win. The minotaur in Greek legend was in the labyrinth, therefore making the fight close quarters, and making a bow ineffective against the much larger and stronger minotaur. A trident is also a close quarter fighting weapon and a mid range weapon, for stabbing and throwing. The centaur has but 2 advantages. 1 an advanced brain. 2 human eye sight. The minotaur has more. 1 stronger. 2 bigger. 3 close/mid range weapon. 4 is he knows the labyrinth like the back of his hand. well, hoof.

  15. George says:

    Good point, tony, but the centaur is faster than the minotaur, so the centaur could run and tire the minotaur out. then, the centaur would have an opening and shoot the minotaur in the heart or the head.

  16. George, you forget that the minotaur is only found in the labyrinth, so speed is ineffective. but if the centaur were to run in an attempt to tire the minotaur out, the minotaur could flank the centaur with an alternate passage. Even if the centaur were to run, you forget that the minotaur can throw his trident and kill the centaur.

Trackbacks

  1. […] Primal Battle: Centaur vs Minotaur from THE BEAT […]

Speak Your Mind

*