Studio coffee run: recasting, boobs, moobs

All sorts of mini news bits on various comics movie projects this morning.

¶ John Malkovich has replaced John C. Reilly in RED, the all-star adaptation of the Warren Ellis/Cully Hamner miniseries. Bruce Willis plays a retired black-ops agent who is too old for that shit and has a squad of younger-high tech assassins out to get him. These assassins must be so young that they never saw films such as the DIE HARD series, THE LAST BOY SCOUT, ARMAGEDDON, or SIN CITY, or else they would know going after Bruce Willis is a death sentence. Along for the ride, an Award-wørthy and mostly Medicaid-eligible cast, including Morgan Freeman, Helen Mirren, Mary-Louise Parker, Julian McMahon, Richard Dreyfuss, Ernest Borgnine, and Brian Cox.

¶ Malkovich has also signed up to play the Vulture in SPIDER-MAN 4, according to comments made during an appearance on an Italian soccer show.

¶ AAAAAAND, just to stay busy, he’s participating in some re-shoots on the JONAH HEX movie, according to Borys Kit,

Warner Bros. and Legendary are assembling Josh Brolin, John Malkovich, Megan Fox and Michael Fassbender for a roughly 10-day shoot in the Los Angeles area for the movie, beginning at month’s end. Although no test screenings have taken place, the studio has decided to work on story and action during the shoots, working in 12 pages of additional script mixed in with some re-shoots.

I AM LEGEND helmer Francis Lawrence is coming along to consult, assist, or just play older buddy to first time director Jimmy Hayward.

¶ RECASTING #2: Stuart Townsend has dropped out of THOR because “Creative differences” on the very eve of the start of filming. He was to play Fandral the Dashing, and will be replaced by newcomer Joshua Dallas. This bit is a little bit juicy because Townsend was famously replaced in the 11th hour on LORD OF THE RINGS because Peter Jackson deemed him too young to play Aragorn. Rich Johnston suggests that Townsend may have been a bit lacking in the “dashing” department, offering the following photo with galpal Charlize Theron as evidence:

¶ Speaking of moobs, the “Gerard Gutler” controversy continues to rage, but spotted recently exiting a WeHo bakery, DDGB proves that a well tailored shirt and jeans can camouflage some figure flaws. Not so sure about the man bag though — they really look better OVER the shoulder rather than being carried like a robber’s stash. Also…BAKERY? THat is the last place someone who needs to go on a diet should be hanging out.

¶ Finally, the casting of 22-year-old Blake Lively as Carol Ferris in the Green Lantern movie has been the subject of much questioning, especially since such slightly more suitable actresses as Keri Russell and Jennifer Garner were also in the running. However, all questions should be silenced when one acknowledges the simple fact that Lively has an absolutely incredible rack, and we all need to take advantage of it while we can.