The Great Oscar 2013 Mystery: Renee Zellweger

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o RENEE ZELLWEGER OSCAR DRESS 2013 570 The Great Oscar 2013 Mystery: Renee Zellweger
Oh yeah, speaking of the Oscars, Renee Zellweger —WTF. While the actress often looks like she just chomped into a handful of Sour Skittles, last night her eyes seemed to have collapsed into tiny black holes orbiting Alpha Centauri. And what was with mean Richard Gere trying to get her to read on stage? It was obvious girlfriend did not want to wear reading glasses, and was too shy to say anything about it. Either that or she had found the stash James Franco had hidden at the Dolby Theater a couple of years back.

Her dress looked great from the clavicles down, though.

Otherwise, Seth MacFarlane…yeah, whatevs. I don’t like his mean-spirited, not-an-act bigotry on Family Guy, and I didn’t like it here, but he plowed on like an old pro. As I wrote a few years ago, few things are as momentarily thrilling and ultimately pointless as complaining about Oscar hosts. I don’t think MacFarlane made too many pals in Hollywood with his barbed (and yet safe) banter, but he’s laughing all the way to the bank. He needs to do his Broadway show and get it out of his system.

What else…it was nice to see Brenda Chapman on stage to get an Oscar for BRAVE. She was removed from directing the picture halfway through due to “creative differences” but the idea was based on her daughter, and she developed the story for years. I like singing and dancing so turning the Oscars into the Tonys didn’t bother me a bit. Hal Needham getting a Governor’s Award for making SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT made me think that 30 years from now there will be an Oscar tribute to “Marvel Movies” and Stan Lee will probably still be around to pick it up.

Comments

  1. john shableski says:

    I think Zellwegger was seriously buzzed. If you watched her when the others with her on stage were speaking, she was a bit ‘drifty’.

    As for Seth McFarlane, he was just what we expected, talented, funny, and a bit on the bad boy side. It’s the Oscars and folks really do need to lighten up because it aint like these folks are curing cancer. Along those lines, I think Daniel Day Lewis’ was awesome with his version of Streep playing Lincoln.

    Glad to see Brave get the nod-it was well deserved but then again, all the nominees in the animation categories were amazing.

  2. Rob J. says:

    I’m just happy that Katniss and Catwoman won. Take *that* . . . dog people?

  3. Nicholas Sinisi says:

    I was mightily disappointed at the 50 Years Of Bond “tribute” (if ya wanna call it that). Fifty freaking years of those films – it’s one of the biggest film franchises EVER – and they couldn’t or didn’t choose to get all the Bond actors on stage for a group bow? I would have settled for Craig by himself! (I really wanted to see Lazenby, who’s gotten short shrift like forever up there hearing some applause. )

    Nothing against the great Shirley Bassey (she’s still got it), but more could and should have been done to honor 007. If I want to see a clip montage, I can go to YouTube…

  4. “…and they couldn’t or didn’t choose to get all the Bond actors on stage for a group bow?”
    I had heard that the show runners actually tried to get the surviving Bond actors together, but Brosnan was rumored to be the one who opted out of the idea.

  5. xrayhal says:

    Sad though when the night’s biggest laugh was 2+ hrs in–by Daniel Day Lewis. I say let him host it next year. Lol!

  6. First, mean -spirited remarks on Renee Zellweger, Richard Gere and James Franco. Then, announce disliking Seth McFarlane’s mean-spiritedness… yeah, whatevs.

  7. Zellweger’s eyes have been gradually closing for the past few years now. The squint used to be cute, now it’s just disturbing in a “did she get plastic surgery on her cheeks or something?” way.

  8. Tommy Raiko says:

    “I had heard that the show runners actually tried to get the surviving Bond actors together…”

    “Surviving” Bond actors? Who of the Bond actors isn’t still with us? Unless you’re counting David Niven which I suppose is OK, even if his stint as Bond isn’t usually counted…

  9. The Beat says:

    Nikki Finke said it was Connery who refused to show up, as well as Brosnan, both over feuds with the Broccolis.

  10. I hate broccoli

  11. @Tommy Raiko: Yep, I was referring to Niven and Barry Nelson, who was actually the first actor to play James Bond, in the televised version of Casino Royale.

  12. Chris Hero says:

    While I was certain I was going to hate McFarlane, he totally won me over. The sock puppet rendition of Flight was hysterical, the we saw your boobs song was great, and I loved both the Wilkes-Booth joke and the follow-up. I liked all the singing and dancing, too.

  13. Nicholas Sinisi says:

    Yeah, I read that on Deadline also – about the various spats the Bond actors have with the Broccolis. But they could have had CRAIG at the (literally) very least.

  14. Glad to know I’m not alone in McFarlane not being my cup of tea generally. I agree that he did a professional job, but I thought overall his material was weak and the opening a bit interminable.

    I agree that the Bond retrospective was kind of weak, but thought Shirley Bassey was the first highpoint of the show — in fact, she appeared to have brought the house down, receiving a standing ovation. In fact, it set the tone for the rest of the evening because, overall, I thought the music numbers were the strongest parts of the show.

  15. Tony Bedard says:

    I actually couldn’t watch the Oscars because of Seth McFarlane. I find hi stuff so aggressively un-funny and off-putting that every time Family Guy comes on I literally leap for the remote. Not that I haven’t tried watching the show (Jesus Christ it’s ubiquitous) but I have never EVER laughed at anything I’ve ever seen on Family Guy, American dad or Cleveland Show.

    And it’s not that I don’t like irreverent or even mean humor. It’s just that the stuff’s not funny. South Park? Now THAT’S funny. And the South Park episode where the kids encounter the Family Guy writing staff said it all about the show eats up way too much valuable TV real estate that might be going to a nice Futurama re-run, Kroll Show, or any number of things that are actually funny.

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