Marvel Studios has summoned Vin Diesel for a meeting, but nobody knows why. I do, or at least I think so. The media asked Vinny on his Facebook for an explanation to this meeting and he answered with, “haha, you probably know better than me.”Disney recently announced some mystery film dates, but where does Diesel fit in the Marvel Universe? Especially since no one in the Marvel U drives cars.

Here’s the job offers that Diesel should expect from this meeting.

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1. Vision

There are some rumors about Vision making an appearance in Avengers 2. Honestly, who could portray a cold android better than the Iron Giant? Only problem: Vin Diesel doesn’t cry, ever.

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2. Rocket Raccoon

Let’s face it, Guardians of the Galaxy isn’t a household name. The cast is shaping up to be the group of guys that didn’t make it in Stallone’s Expendable PG-13 sequels. Vinnie has been training for this role his entire career. Tell me with a straight face that Riddick wasn’t influenced by Rocket Raccoon. I dare you.
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3. D-Man

Hear me out. Marvel’s famous for making the dumbest characters look cool. Luke Cage used to prance around in a tiara shouting sweet Christmas, and now he’s death proof. Squirrel Girl was just a girl with a squirrel tail, and now she’s an Avenger with a tail. The only person that can breath life back in to this wrestler/super hero is Triple X himself… and Brian Michael Bendis

 

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4. The Thing

Vin Diesel is Michael Chiklis on steroids. ‘Nuff Said!

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5. Ares

Everyone in the Avengers film has a bromance except for Thor. Rogers has Fury. Stark has Banner. Hawkeye has Natasha. Thor can’t always be third wheeling it at every dance. I suspect that Chris Hemsworth isn’t going to do this Thor thing forever, so let’s give the fans what they want: Norse gods that wield huge weapons. The only problem I see with Diesel portraying Aries is the body hair. Look at him. Diesel is smoother and more bronzer than any Bond girl to date. Then again, it’s nothing a million dollars of CGI can’t fix.

There you have it. Am I missing anyone? I thought so.

Henry Barajas is the co-creator, writer and letterer for El Loco and Captain Unikorn. He has also written and lettered short stories for two successful Kickstarter SpazDog Press projects: Unite and Take Over: Stories inspired by The Smiths and Break The Walls: Comic Stories inspired by The Pixies.  He is the Newsroom Research Assistant for The Arizona Daily Star and was nominated for the Shel Dorf Blogger of the Year award for his work at The Beat.  You can follow him on Twitter @HenryBarajas.

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28 COMMENTS

  1. I was thinking Rocket Raccoon’s voice myself, but would love to see what they came up with for him as Vision. Not so sure about Thing since Marvel doesn’t own the movie rights to FF.

  2. Firstly, I approve of your photo choice.

    Secondly, we know Vin would LOVE to be Vision after that picture of Vision he put up on his facebook a while back while hinting about the character.

    Thirdly, any film with Vin in it is immediately at least 300% more awesome.

  15. the masters of evil would be cool for an avengers movie, but that’s a large amount of villians and with each one getting a bit of back story to explain origins, etc., it’s gonna be kind of hard to fit all of that in a single movie. maybe if some of the MOE show up in the solo flicks, then have all of them show up in the avengers movie, the MOE would work, but i thought i heard (and i could be wrong) that the characters of the enchantress and executioner were not gonna be in the next thor movie. never any mention of the wrecking crew, zemo, moonstone, etc. showing up anywhere in any of the upcoming flicks. the only way the MOE might work is if loki starts giving way super powers like candy to common criminals that the avengers have busted over time, thus no need for individual origins, back stories, etc. . while i don’t really see diesel playing the vision , yeah, diesel would be good for the absorbing man, or maybe the trapster (with the way the character is portrayed these days). it never fails to amaze me why more WWE wrestlers aren’t chosen to play marvel villians (at least street level villians). most of those guys look, sound, and act like marvel street level villians. i could see a number of WWE wrestlers playing the wrecking crew.

  22. He did take a pay cut for Riddick though, as it was a film he was personally passionate about making.

    I could see him doing likewise for a kids film or animated thing, but probably not for a superhero film. Unless he was playing someone REALLY big.

  24. I don’t know Vin Diesel, but his quote is 12 million, and I don’t see him taking a pay cut to be in a 100 million plus budget movie when he’s one of the biggest stars in the world. He took a cut to do Riddick because he gets a piece of the gross.

  26. ‘Vin Deisel is 12 million per film. Don’t count on him being in a movie.’

    Yeah can anyone see the tightwads at Marvel/Disney paying his fee? and isn’t he making about a dozen Fast&Furious sequels over the next few years!

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