Marvel Studios has summoned Vin Diesel for a meeting, but nobody knows why. I do, or at least I think so. The media asked Vinny on his Facebook for an explanation to this meeting and he answered with, “haha, you probably know better than me.”Disney recently announced some mystery film dates, but where does Diesel fit in the Marvel Universe? Especially since no one in the Marvel U drives cars.
Here’s the job offers that Diesel should expect from this meeting.
There are some rumors about Vision making an appearance in Avengers 2. Honestly, who could portray a cold android better than the Iron Giant? Only problem: Vin Diesel doesn’t cry, ever.
2. Rocket Raccoon
Let’s face it, Guardians of the Galaxy isn’t a household name. The cast is shaping up to be the group of guys that didn’t make it in Stallone’s Expendable PG-13 sequels. Vinnie has been training for this role his entire career. Tell me with a straight face that Riddick wasn’t influenced by Rocket Raccoon. I dare you.
Hear me out. Marvel’s famous for making the dumbest characters look cool. Luke Cage used to prance around in a tiara shouting sweet Christmas, and now he’s death proof. Squirrel Girl was just a girl with a squirrel tail, and now she’s an Avenger with a tail. The only person that can breath life back in to this wrestler/super hero is Triple X himself… and Brian Michael Bendis
4. The Thing
Vin Diesel is Michael Chiklis on steroids. ‘Nuff Said!
Everyone in the Avengers film has a bromance except for Thor. Rogers has Fury. Stark has Banner. Hawkeye has Natasha. Thor can’t always be third wheeling it at every dance. I suspect that Chris Hemsworth isn’t going to do this Thor thing forever, so let’s give the fans what they want: Norse gods that wield huge weapons. The only problem I see with Diesel portraying Aries is the body hair. Look at him. Diesel is smoother and more bronzer than any Bond girl to date. Then again, it’s nothing a million dollars of CGI can’t fix.
There you have it. Am I missing anyone? I thought so.
Henry Barajas is the co-creator, writer and letterer for El Loco and Captain Unikorn. He has also written and lettered short stories for two successful Kickstarter SpazDog Press projects: Unite and Take Over: Stories inspired by The Smiths and Break The Walls: Comic Stories inspired by The Pixies. He is the Newsroom Research Assistant for The Arizona Daily Star and was nominated for the Shel Dorf Blogger of the Year award for his work at The Beat. You can follow him on Twitter @HenryBarajas.