Wheel Clamp Man Vs Australia

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By Steve Morris

In these dark times, it’s hard to tell right from wrong anymore. Our heroes are being arrested and demasked in public, whilst supervillains are using their genius intellect to perform heartwarming acts of decency. What are we, the ‘norms’ of society, meant to do with this turning of the conventional system? Real life superheroics have moved from a simplistic black and white view of human nature and have now entered a grey, scary, uneven territory, the type normally drawn by Frank Miller. Which brings us to Wheel Clamp Man, the first recorded instance of an antihero roaming our dark and edgier streets.

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But only if you live in Australia, that is. As revealed by a local newspaper in Australia and retold to the world via syndication, Wheel Clamp Man is a bright green ‘hero’ who operates in Perth, removing wheel clamps from cars in exchange for a small donation to charity. Announced as a public menace by the local police (which, I should stress, he is, and nobody at Stately Beat Manor condones his behaviour), Wheel Clamp Man wields an ankle grinder and short moustache in the name of rescuing locals from minor irritation they pretty much brought on themselves.

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Charging $135 for each rescue, Wheel Clamp Man donates all the proceedings to charity, inspired to do so by his own dark and tragic past, which saw his very own car (the Clampmobile?) clamped by the very injustice he now seeks to grind free. “The amount of money these companies make off innocent people is insane”, he told Perth’s Sunday Times. “Where does all that money go? Not into car parks or safer streets.”

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Perth’s police force have obviously denounced his actions, as he is, y’know, committing a crime every time he does this. But locals are backing their new hero, enamoured by his choice to wear greens and pinks together, in public, and the fact he helps them break the law. When asked for comment, the Western Autralian police force  released a short, to-the-point statement:

He is committing the offence of criminal damage. We will deal with him.

Yeah, but New York have been saying that about Spider-Man for years, and he’s still going. Will Wheel Clamp Man keep one step ahead of the Law? Rest assured, we’ll be monitoring his situation.

Comments

  1. He’s a menace!

  2. The $135 bucks paid to Mr. Clamp could go toward their parking fees. Granted, their car is still clamped (and possibly gathering more tickets if they are in a parking zone), but it seems paying this guy isn’t solving much of their problem (though I am sympathetic to those with high parking fees / tickets).

  3. jacob goddard says:

    Just about every reader who lives in a city just pumped their fists in the air.

  4. How can you do an article on Wheel Clamp Man of Australia without mentioning his inspiration, Angle Grinder Man of England? I don’t know if he’s still active, but the BBC first reported on him in 2003.

    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/3112670.stm

    This Sun article seems to indicate that he was still going strong in 2007:
    http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/142316/Its-Superclamp.html

    He shares the same origin as WCM, but doesn’t take money for charity or otherwise.

  5. Gah, didn’t click the link to the Perth newspaper. Angle Grinder is mentioned there.

  6. Oh wow, so he’s a Legacy character? If anything happens to Angle Grinder Man, will Wheel Clamp Man take his mantle? Who Will Find the Grind?

  7. IvyM22 says:

    :)

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