Review: THUNDERBOLTS* is a statue in a deserted warehouse

This is my review of Thunderbolts*. But it’s going to take a while. 

At the 2016 San Diego Comic–Con the Marvel booth had a secret: a large object under a concealing curtain. Then, as now, the Marvel booth was a hub of excitement, but in 2016 it was maybe even a bit more excited. 

In 2016, the MCU was in full bloom, at the height of its powers. Marvel Studios would only release two movies that year – Captain America: Civil War and Doctor Strange, but Civil War was the launch for Phase Three, perhaps the greatest period for any movie franchise in history. Over the span of a mere three years we’d see the launch of a new, youthful Spider-Man as Marvel and Sony forged a once unthinkable team-up. Thor: Ragnarok would become one of the most deliriously wonderful superhero movies of all times, an ode to Jack Kirby and Walt Simonson set to Led Zeppelin. Even more boundaries would be shattered with Black Panther, directed by Ryan Coogler and becoming a cultural touchpoint that gave us new heroes – and gave the MCU its first (and thus far only) Best Picture nomination, along with several deserved wins for craft. Finally, the six hour saga of Avengers Infinity Wars and Endgame gave us a culmination to all these stories, a nearly unimaginable feat of bringing together movie stars, comics lore, bringing some of the most unforgettable, meme-able movie moments of the century thus far. 

And it all kicked off with Captain America: Civil War, which not only introduced the new Spider-Man but featured the first Secret Wars style superhero battle on screen, as Cap and Tony Stark clashed at the airport. Directed by the Russo Brothers, it was brisk, smart and had consequences for the characters we’d come to know and love. 

And that’s what that secret at the Marvel booth was all about. Here at the noon of the MCU, they would unveil a 13 foot high bronze statue of Captain America, weighing a literal ton, showing him in a heroic, shield lifting pose, with various phrases celebrating his Brooklyn heritage on the base: “Hometown Pride,” “I’m just a kid from Brooklyn,” and “Celebrating 75 Heroic Years”

The statue was designed by Comicave Studios, reportedly in collaboration with Marvel artists. I’ve been unable to find their names. Nor are the names of Jack Kirby and Joe Simon, who created Captain  America, prominent on the statue. 

Although unveiled at Comic-Con, in the full glory of the MCU, the statue already had a permanent home planned. The first home was Prospect Park, Brooklyn’s large and glorious public space. Cap was erected in the park for a few months, supported by then Brooklyn borough president Eric Adams, who is now a particularly scummy and wretched mayor of this fine city. 

Residents objected, however, finding the statue “commercial”. After a two month stay in the park, the statue was moved to Barclay’s Center, home of the Brooklyn Nets and site of many concerts and wrestling matches, a public space where such a statue seemed fitting. 

However, this spot too was not suitable for the 2000-lb promotional statue. I seem to recall at the time that there was some scrambling to find a place for Cap, but a place was found: outside a Bed, Bath and Beyond at Brooklyn’s Industry City, a row of reclaimed industrial warehouses on the waterfront in Sunset Park. 

I was there to see the statue unveiled at SDCC 2016, but hadn’t seen it since. The statue was moved there in Fall 2016. And then, many things happened. 

Industry City is a bit of a stretch to visit for a Manhattanite such as myself. It’s now home to St. Marks Comics, as well as BICS, the Brooklyn Indie Comics Showcase. I do find myself there from time to time, post-pandemic. It’s a huge space, offering lofty ceilings, and wide open courtyards – a dream for New Yorkers escaping their cramped nests. 

Every time I go to Industry City I’ve tried to find the statue. But it isn’t in one of the main buildings. Last year, at BICS, I asked about it, but didn’t have time. 

Two weeks ago, on a weirdly rainy and blustery day, I was at BICS again, and decided the time had come to find this statue once and for all. With the invaluable guidance of cartoonist/Beat writer Justin Guerrero, we set out on our quest. Justin asked a clerk at St. Marks about the statue but she told us it was “pretty far away. It’s next to a Micro Center.”

Part of the problem is that Bed, Bath and Beyond is no more, having gone bankrupt in 2023. So pinpointing the location was difficult in the spawl of this industrial complex. Justin and I trekked along the mostly deserted access road, behind a series of factories and towering brick receiving facilities. At one point, we realized we were locked into a deserted warehouse, and – mirroring countless scenes in MCU movies – we had to wander through empty neon corridors, past thrumming machinery and abandoned loading docks,  until we found an unlocked door and emerged into the stock room of Micro Center. 

“Where’s Captain America?” we asked two rather confused clerks. One looked completely baffled. He’d never heard of such a thing. The other nodded. “You have to go around and make a right and then go inside.”

These directions were enough to guide us, and finally we found it. Nine years after I’d first seen it. From shock and awe at Comic-Con to an empty, dark, mostly deserted mall. One guy was eating a chicken sando, as you can see in the photo. It was a remote, lonely place. It reminded me of the scene in Winter Soldier where Cap, Natasha and Sam break into that deserted SHIELD lab and find the ghost of Arnim Zola. Or the sad and excellent end of Civil War where Cap and Tony break into the deserted Siberian Hydra facility. 

Photos acquired,  we went back to BICS. 

And that’s my review of Thunderbolts*.

Okay, second review of Thunderbolts*, which I saw at an early fan screening in “Faux-max.” SPOILERS. 

The plot: the ragtag villains of a bunch of movies and TV shows come together as a misfit team to fight the Sentry, yet another super soldier whose depression and childhood trauma turn him into a death-ray shooting demi-god, except it’s not a death ray it’s a “go away somewhere and relive your trauma” ray. 

A significant portion of the movie takes place on 45th Street, behind Grand Central Terminal, a kind of gloomy access corridor next to Avengers Tower. Avengers Tower is not real, but 45th St. is, right around the corner from Midtown Comics, and a nice food court. This mundane locale is a deliberate counterpoint to the original Avengers who battled gloriously in FRONT of GCT in the first Avengers movie. 

But Thunderbolts* is definitely an access corridor kind of movie.  Florence Pugh as Yelena is luminous; there’s not a moment she doesn’t hold your attention, whether sad and depressed with her life as a covert operative or kicking ass. Sebastian Stan is an Oscar nominee now, and there’s so much lore and drama around Bucky by now that he carries every scene he’s in. 

The rest of the team, however, betrays their origins as a motley assemblage of kind of not very compelling villains from somewhat middling movies and TV shows. David Harbour shouts and is funny. I always liked Hannah John-Kamen as Ghost but her part in Ant-Man was underwritten and there’s not much to work with here. Wyatt Russell is supposed to be a wishy washy asshole and wishy washy is the word. Taskmaster, well, she was never anything, and she gets dispatched in such a perfunctory manner that I kept expecting it to be a swerve. It wasn’t. 

As I was watching the film I kept wondering who Ayo Edibiri and Steven Yuen were supposed to play. It wasn’t hard to figure out. Geraldine Viswanathan plays Mel, the assistant to Valentina Allegra de Fontaine, and seemingly Val’s only employee. This was definitely an Edibiri part. 

Lewis Pullman took over for Yuen as Sentry. Pullman plays the role as a nebbishy sadsack until he becomes a demi-god, and he’s fine at being nebbishy. I’m not familiar with his work, but both Edibiri and Yuen would have brought a lot more star power to these roles, and I missed them, but they are much better off doing other things than being harnessed to the diminishing returns of an MCU role for god knows how long. 

The biggest problem I has with Thunderbolts* was how cheesy and bland it looked and felt. It was like an episode of Jag and not a movie that you must rush to see in IMAX to experience. Julia Louis-Dreyfuss is always wonderful, but she seems like someone from a sitcom. There’s not a memorable visual that we haven’t seen before from the whole movie. The characters are shot in energy-sapping middle shots, aside from Pugh, who lights up the camera so much that it’s a relief whenever we cut to her doing ANYTHING. 

Thunderbolts* director Jake Schreier is one of many MCU directors recruited from the world of TV and sitcoms: The Russo Brother obviously had a big glow-up from Carpoolers and Community, but Fantastic Four’s Matt Shakman has a 20 year resume in TV, and was specifically chosen for Wandavision to capture a sitcom feeling. I could do a whole article on the provenance and future endeavors of MCU directors, but without putting down their high levels of craft and skill, the MCU has never been about vision. When Taika Waititi or Ryan Coogler or James Gunn rose above the previz wasteland to give us something bold and kinetic, it was an aberration, not an evolution. 

When I walked out of Thunderbolts* I was pretty sure it was going to get mediocre reviews, but as usual most of the social media reactions were about how it was the best movie since Endgame, which, honestly, isn’t saying much, and isn’t accurate in a world where GotG 3 exists. But I did see that people liked how the movie pointed out, hey these are people who deal with depression and CPTSD, and trauma and loss are part of the superhero story. 

The problem is that all of that was already shown in a far superior film: James Gunn’s The Suicide Squad. Thunderbolts* copies much of that movie’s framing, right down to the movie poster design. The Suicide Squad was considered a flop, but it’s one of my top five comic book movies, and one I can rewatch endlessly. Every character is shot like a MOVIE STAR, every character has a motivation and a story arc, the action is bloody and memorable, it’s mostly shot in camera, Margot Robbie is really running, and even the villain, a giant squid, is shown to be sad and lost and just trying to get home. 

Thunderbolts• isn’t an actively bad movie – it has its moments and diehard MCU fans (such as myself) will find tidbits here and there to enjoy. The writers and Schreier and cast are all talented but the vision powering them is tired and phoning it in. It’s also clearly made for people who text in the theater, and stream movies while they do other things. You can just dip in here and there and get the jist of it. 

But the franchise is as burnt out as that Captain America statue. And that’s okay. They had a good run, nay a GREAT run. Kevin Feige accomplished something that no one would ever have dreamed possible, a 20+ movie saga that actually paid off. But between draining the joy by pumping out cheesy, badly written TV shows to launch Disney+ and really just having said all you wanted to say, it’s entered maintenance mode. The MCU will not save theater going, not when it’s this washed and washed out. 

Just a few more things. 

Appendix 1: If Daniel Brühl had appeared as Zemo in Thunderbolts* I would probably have reversed everything I said above. This is still the greatest MCU moment post Endgame. 

Appendix 2: About a week after seeing Thunderbolts* I saw Sinners in Faux-max, at a sold out 11 am screening on a Thursday morning. Good god. When I saw the trailers for Sinners I thought, “Uh oh, Coogler’s doing scary monster movies? I dunno.” The Sinners trailer doesn’t give away the whole movie, because you can only experience it as a whole movie. The exquisite payoff of meeting the characters and setting for an hour, and then the horror and drama unfolding is the kind of experience people are thrilled to have in a theater. A fully realized banquet of the transcendence of music, the prison of race, the necessity of sex, the power of family and the joy of dialog, setting, everything. We want to feel things outside ourselves and then make them a part of ourselves. I could go on and on but everyone else already has. SEE IT. 

Appendix 3: I do love the MCU. The movies and characters are a part of my life in a way for too long to go into. And sometimes when I think about it – and especially after seeing Thunderbolts – I think that the BEST Phase Four/Five movie was Black Widow. Scarlett Johansson and Florence Pugh are excellent with endless chemistry, the themes of lost family are explored at length and with care, and the action pieces are very well done. Unlike most MCU movies it actually stands on its own.  It’s also got a glorious score by Loren Balfe. The end credits music kicks in with a Rimsky-Korsakov fueled adrenaline shot that sends you home thinking “that was a good story.” I still listen to it and still remember.